Perfect planning

So despite my desire to have perfect, memorable holidays both Passover and Easter fell a little short this year- which is probably just God reminding me whose really in charge. Travel schedules and time with the non-Jewish grandmother led to Noah and I missing Passover dinner with Seth's family, which of course was disappointing. Then, unexpected circumstances left us with our niece and nephew on Holy Saturday night until 1 on Sunday. Three children 2 and under made mass seem impossible (although I know there are those of you who do it and you have my full admiration) and family dinner at my Grandmother's was out of the picture too. So instead, we spent Easter with a house full of kids, showing our niece from the Jewish side of the family her first and maybe last Easter Egg hunt, a beautiful walk around the block, resting from a cold that hit me Friday and getting work done around the house. Probably not God's plans for an ideal Holy week, nor were they really mine either but we're still thankful for the holy miracles and gifts both holidays represent and something we should be celebrating everyday anyway. Until next year...when we will be fully donned in our Easter bonnets and the kids are searching for the Afikoman we will have to settle for chicken soup with matzoh balls and a chocolate bunny or two.

P is for Passover and Party?

I have always loved a party. I love attending parties. I love throwing parties. I love big, themed, parties. I love small dinner parties. If party is in the event title I love it.

I also have this burning desire, like all parents, to provide a better childhood to my children than I had. Given my childhood it won't take much. However, it's more than that for me. I crave the family traditions and memories that I didn't have. Not just for my kids but for me. I know this isn't reality but nothing would make me happier than being able to have a "Lifetime" movie Thanksgiving or other holiday. You know what I am talking about- a huge, beautifully arranged table, full of wonderful food with all of our friends and family laughing heartily. Of course, minus the cheating husband and random relative with the deep dark secret that frequent so many of the Lifetime movies.

So this where I struggle with our family and the holidays. With my family's holidays (or at least the big 3- Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas) we know where we are going, who will be there and who will bring what weeks if not months in advance. Yet, to me, there is often a spiritual side that is missing. Thanksgiving doesn't seem quite thankful enough, Christmas loses the Christ part sometimes- you know what I mean. It becomes m0re about who will be there and what we will eat than anything else. So as our own family Seth and I try to add those spiritual components in.

It's not quite like that with our Jewish side. We often don't know where we will celebrate or who will be there until the week before- which of course is fine. It's just a shock to the system of this girl who is always looking for a party and always trying to create a family tradition or memory that her kids will re-tell to their children.

As an outsider, I also feel like the holiday doesn't matter as much because there is not as big a to do about it. It's also hard for me to grab the spiritual side of it since I am really just trying to keep up with the readings and remember which holiday means what.

I know it might always be like this and I am pretty sure Christmas midnight mass doesn't mean as much to my husband as it does to me. We just need to make sure that no matter how we celebrate the holidays or who is there that we truly remember what we're celebrating or remembering. What's most important is that we take the time, whether with the whole family or just our little interfaith clan to reflect on why that day means so much- whether we are having a big family get together or just a last minute potluck.

Who knows maybe next year I will have a Passover Party with a gefilte fish toss- you can't convince me anyone really likes eating those slimy little things anyway.

Kosher for Passover

In two weeks we will have Passover, Easter, Noah's birthday and the Masters all in the same week. Now, being from a mixed family in the south- it's hard to determine which is more important- Passover, Easter or the Masters....

I am just kidding of course but we do seemed to get pulled in a lot of directions in April. Now being the Catholic, I know the importance of Easter and in how many ways it's bigger than Christmas- which can sometimes also be said about the Masters- but I wasn't so familiar with Passover. After getting unsatisfactory answers from my husband about the importance of Passover and where it ranks among the holidays, I decided to do a little of my own research. Really I wanted to know why they always seem to fall so closely (in other words was I going to have to deal with a collision of major holidays every year)....Here's the skinny (as best as a Southern Shiksa can understand) on Easter, Passover and how they are related and the Masters.

Passover is the celebration of the Jews being freed from Egyptian slavery (and after surviving the plagues). It lasts 8 days and is celebrated with a Seder that includes- asking the three questions, a Seder plate (with an egg, bitter herbs, and lamb shank to name a few), gefilte fish (no thank you) reading from the Haggadah and the kids finding the afikomen. Observant Jews won't eat anything that rises (because when the Jews were leaving Egypt, they didn't have time to let the bread rise before they had to go) which is why they eat matzoh.

Easter is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus. The Last Supper, recognized on Holy Thursday (the Thursday before Easter) was a Passover Seder. Catholics use the 40 days before Easter- Lent- as a time to repent and cleanse our selves for the coming of Christ. As Catholics we don't read the Bible as enthusiastically as other denominations so I can't say for sure where Lent is mentioned. Maybe I can tackle that next year. There is also some linkage to Easter being related to a pagan Roman holiday celebrating Spring and new life which is where the bunnies and eggs come from- in case you were wondering what Jesus would have done with all of that pastel Easter grass. Notable foods include peeps, chocolate bunnies and ham (none of which are as symbolic as the Jewish foods).

Passover is based on the Jewish calendar and Easter is based on the vernal equinox. However they seem to fall around the same time every year. To make it even more confusing- the Eastern Christians have a different calculation than the Western Christians which is why you will see different dates on the calendar.

The Masters starts the Wednesday before the first Sunday of April which means it's right in there with Easter, Passover and the big holiday in our house Noah's birthday. Notable traditions include mojitos (while watching at home) chicken sandwiches- famous on the course and wearing your favorite Masters logoed item- the older the better.

Both holidays are marked with family feasts and celebrations which is a okay in my book and both will usually be dates that we work around for Noah's birthday. Now if I could just get them to move the Masters.

Toda, Gratias

There are a few holidays both the Jews and Catholics have in common and of course, Thanksgiving is one of them. Obviously we all know the story of Thanksgiving and in theory what it is supposed to mean. But how many of us really take the time to reflect and act on its basic principles - to give and be grateful. How many of us do it everyday?

This is a challenge Seth and I have. Although we don't always succeed (trust me there are plenty of days that I lose it over not being able to find my keys or let a little road rage ruin my morning) we try to remember it and more importanly practice it everyday. I know Noah doesn't understand yet, but we always say thank you to the men and women we see in uniform whether they be in the military or serving in our communities as police or firemen and we always say a prayer when we see an accident or someone on the streets- a prayer both to watch over them and a prayer of thanks for our blessings. It's funny because I think God has a way of reminding us of Thanksgiving everyday. It seems to be when I am saying something unkind about a fellow driver as I sit in my own warm car with some sort of latte in the cup holder, that I see a mom pushing her two small children in the cold towards the bus stop or a man who obviously spent the night on the streets. And then I am reminded. I am reminded to give and be thankful and we don't have to be in a temple or church to practice that.

How it all began- softball, stoplights and God

Seth and I met playing softball. It certainly wasn't where I expected to meet my husband nor do I think it's where he expected to meet his wife. But we did and it's been great.

Neither one of us was necessarily looking for a serious relationship. He was dating someone else and in a casual conversation had mentioned how important it was to him and his family that he marry someone Jewish. I wasn't necessarily opposed to marrying someone outside of my religion but always somehow managed to meet nice Catholic boys. My religion was important to me and being Catholic was an important part of my identity. Thus, it just seemed to me that my children would experience religion through the Catholic Church.

We had been dating for just a couple of months and I remember this moment as well as I remember how he proposed to me. We were stopped at a light and I had realized within a few weeks of us dating, that this was more than just a casual fling. We connected in a way I had never known or quite frankly ever imagined was possible. I know, very cheesy and over the top, but there is truly no other way to describe it. At that light, I finally just asked the dreaded question- "Where do you see this going?"

After a long discussion on how we felt about our religions and what was important to us as far as raising a family, we realized we both wanted the same thing. To have a family that honored God in our everyday life and to raise children, as simple as this sounds, who were good people.

We decided at this moment that if this relationship led to marriage, we would teach our children to know and respect both faiths and trust them to make their own decision at the point where they would normally have a confirmation or bar mitzvah.

And so as the saying it goes- that's how it all began...