Monday, April 13, 2009
Perfect planning
So despite my desire to have perfect, memorable holidays both Passover and Easter fell a little short this year- which is probably just God reminding me whose really in charge. Travel schedules and time with the non-Jewish grandmother led to Noah and I missing Passover dinner with Seth's family, which of course was disappointing. Then, unexpected circumstances left us with our niece and nephew on Holy Saturday night until 1 on Sunday. Three children 2 and under made mass seem impossible (although I know there are those of you who do it and you have my full admiration) and family dinner at my Grandmother's was out of the picture too. So instead, we spent Easter with a house full of kids, showing our niece from the Jewish side of the family her first and maybe last Easter Egg hunt, a beautiful walk around the block, resting from a cold that hit me Friday and getting work done around the house. Probably not God's plans for an ideal Holy week, nor were they really mine either but we're still thankful for the holy miracles and gifts both holidays represent and something we should be celebrating everyday anyway. Until next year...when we will be fully donned in our Easter bonnets and the kids are searching for the Afikoman we will have to settle for chicken soup with matzoh balls and a chocolate bunny or two.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
P is for Passover and Party?
I have always loved a party. I love attending parties. I love throwing parties. I love big, themed, parties. I love small dinner parties. If party is in the event title I love it.
I also have this burning desire, like all parents, to provide a better childhood to my children than I had. Given my childhood it won't take much. However, it's more than that for me. I crave the family traditions and memories that I didn't have. Not just for my kids but for me. I know this isn't reality but nothing would make me happier than being able to have a "Lifetime" movie Thanksgiving or other holiday. You know what I am talking about- a huge, beautifully arranged table, full of wonderful food with all of our friends and family laughing heartily. Of course, minus the cheating husband and random relative with the deep dark secret that frequent so many of the Lifetime movies.
So this where I struggle with our family and the holidays. With my family's holidays (or at least the big 3- Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas) we know where we are going, who will be there and who will bring what weeks if not months in advance. Yet, to me, there is often a spiritual side that is missing. Thanksgiving doesn't seem quite thankful enough, Christmas loses the Christ part sometimes- you know what I mean. It becomes m0re about who will be there and what we will eat than anything else. So as our own family Seth and I try to add those spiritual components in.
It's not quite like that with our Jewish side. We often don't know where we will celebrate or who will be there until the week before- which of course is fine. It's just a shock to the system of this girl who is always looking for a party and always trying to create a family tradition or memory that her kids will re-tell to their children.
As an outsider, I also feel like the holiday doesn't matter as much because there is not as big a to do about it. It's also hard for me to grab the spiritual side of it since I am really just trying to keep up with the readings and remember which holiday means what.
I know it might always be like this and I am pretty sure Christmas midnight mass doesn't mean as much to my husband as it does to me. We just need to make sure that no matter how we celebrate the holidays or who is there that we truly remember what we're celebrating or remembering. What's most important is that we take the time, whether with the whole family or just our little interfaith clan to reflect on why that day means so much- whether we are having a big family get together or just a last minute potluck.
Who knows maybe next year I will have a Passover Party with a gefilte fish toss- you can't convince me anyone really likes eating those slimy little things anyway.
I also have this burning desire, like all parents, to provide a better childhood to my children than I had. Given my childhood it won't take much. However, it's more than that for me. I crave the family traditions and memories that I didn't have. Not just for my kids but for me. I know this isn't reality but nothing would make me happier than being able to have a "Lifetime" movie Thanksgiving or other holiday. You know what I am talking about- a huge, beautifully arranged table, full of wonderful food with all of our friends and family laughing heartily. Of course, minus the cheating husband and random relative with the deep dark secret that frequent so many of the Lifetime movies.
So this where I struggle with our family and the holidays. With my family's holidays (or at least the big 3- Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas) we know where we are going, who will be there and who will bring what weeks if not months in advance. Yet, to me, there is often a spiritual side that is missing. Thanksgiving doesn't seem quite thankful enough, Christmas loses the Christ part sometimes- you know what I mean. It becomes m0re about who will be there and what we will eat than anything else. So as our own family Seth and I try to add those spiritual components in.
It's not quite like that with our Jewish side. We often don't know where we will celebrate or who will be there until the week before- which of course is fine. It's just a shock to the system of this girl who is always looking for a party and always trying to create a family tradition or memory that her kids will re-tell to their children.
As an outsider, I also feel like the holiday doesn't matter as much because there is not as big a to do about it. It's also hard for me to grab the spiritual side of it since I am really just trying to keep up with the readings and remember which holiday means what.
I know it might always be like this and I am pretty sure Christmas midnight mass doesn't mean as much to my husband as it does to me. We just need to make sure that no matter how we celebrate the holidays or who is there that we truly remember what we're celebrating or remembering. What's most important is that we take the time, whether with the whole family or just our little interfaith clan to reflect on why that day means so much- whether we are having a big family get together or just a last minute potluck.
Who knows maybe next year I will have a Passover Party with a gefilte fish toss- you can't convince me anyone really likes eating those slimy little things anyway.
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